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25 December 2011 @ 07:50 pm
kiss the baby sky  
Hello, hello, guys. メリークリスマス!As in every other year, my family and I are totally void of the festive mood and go about the day as per usual, hur hur. Believe it or not, we used to make a really huge deal out of it before - we had Christmas music blasting on the stereo, and my dad would always take a video of the unwrapping ceremony of not-so-secret presents. Some dorama happened a couple of years ago, though, and the tradition was broken since it coincidentally fell on Christmas day - so I'm not exactly sure that we're all lazing around in boredom due to vacation inertia or if we're simply caught in the smoke of past grievances. I mean, I used to be a really hyper kid who got up in the morning to blast the Bee Gees and dance around the living room by myself shamelessly. Now I get up and then sit down to turn on the computer. Yup.

But don't get me wrong, I'm actually in a pretty content mood today. The air is calm, though not entirely still after a little something in the morning, but I mean, a little breeze once in a while is nice, right? (*≧▽≦) My tolerance for upsetting things has upped since junior college - now that was frustrating.

Man, I've been in such a lazy mood lately. My days can be summarised in a couple of words: exercise, essay, loaf.

I'm actually pretty proud of my exercise regime... thingimaj- well okay, it's just skipping - but I honestly surprise myself that I haven't bummed around and stopped doing it daily just yet. When I started out, I couldn't even skip through a four minute song (uh I remember quite clearly my first song was Wedding Dress by Taeyang #insignificantdetails), but now I can skip for twenty minutes without stopping! (。◕‿◕。) Whoever once told me that exercising improves blood circulation, metabolism and ultimately your general mood is very right indeed! But whoever told me that it improves productivity evidently isn't, hehe.

I've started applying for universities, too! I'm applying for a couple of universities in the US, one of which is ten minutes away from cindy's home! Cool beans. But the actual probability of entering an overseas uni is actually really low, with my family's financial condition in mind. As much as I do pass it off as a huge waste, I have no qualms about staying in Singapore with my family and preventing the accumulation of more loans - since we, after all, do have quite a few to pay off. I've read too many horror stories of foreign scholars in elite courses still being unable to get a decent job to pay off their debts due to the terrible economy - especially in view of the fact that I'm going into a less popular industry... to be honest, I'm totally terrified here that I won't be able to secure a job. The fact that I'm the oldest kid isn't exactly helping either, and my sis seems to laze around a fair bit (uh, sorry sis). This is besides the point, though.

But well I don't know, I feel like I'm just trying to convince myself here, really. But I do have something to prove to myself, and if I do, by the intervention of some higher being out there, get accepted into a US uni and have to turn it down, I know it'll help mend that awful self esteem problem I've been trying to get rid of for ages. It might sound rather narrow-minded, but my biggest fear right now is regretting to do the best that I can - I know I felt this way when I didn't apply for the Humanities Programme in Raffles, which I most probably would have got accepted for if I wasn't lost in my haze of ignorance and thought I would have been satisfied status quo, with little motivation to push myself. Yup.

Bemoaning stressful issues aside, I've been having lots of fun lately! I've actually gotten down to do many things I shied away from before: I joined a TCG, which had always looked fun but rules I had deemed too complicated to stomach (it's actually really simple). Things have been stagnating in the comm because the runners are running into real life problems, so I couldn't really trade as madly as I wished to. (´;ω;`) but joyce and marge are there, coincidentally! They've helped me out a lot, so I'm going to stick around and ride it through.

I've also signed up for some roleplaying community, Aather, at Dreamwidth under uh... Sakata Gintoki, and his personality is so apart from me I don't even. But I'll think of that after I get in - apparently it takes "a few weeks to a few months" for the application pool to enter the community as slots open. How srs bsns is that? But it's a really active community, so that I'm really looking forward to. I think RPing and characterisation is really interesting; I played Fuuta once at some Reborn RP comm, but I totally wimped out because I was insecure of my ability to portray him (he's such a minor character too!) and took the easy way out by resigning after a while despite getting the role in the comm. orz

An old friend is also organising some sort of Oofuri anthology and invited me to participate! I'm really out of the Oofuri fandom, and I'm not exactly sure if this is actually going to happen, but there're already a small group of artists/writers involved. I'm taking this as a really good opportunity to start drawing a lot more, especially since I've been dying to draw a fanbook for my OTP's for ages but never got around to it. AbeMiha, ret's go! (`Д´)ノ I really need to start planning and storyboarding really soon. ;;;


On a total anticlimactic note, I went out with a couple of friends the other day to the east coast, and we rode this totally awesome bicycle-car which was very obviously a rip-off of poor tourists' cash! Evidently cheap thrills aren't as cheap as they suggest to be, and my buddies offered to subsidise my contribution of the total cost, ahahaha, but I was really touched by that, thanks so much guys. ❤

Don't you think it looks really pretty though? The Christmas decorations are so cheesy, but I felt like it was going to take us on a fantasy ride to faraway land complete with sparkles and fairies any moment. Of course, it just took us on a very bumpy ride, and the sky decided to be funny and rain on us. We thought the shelter would surely rid us of the need of a wet weather plan - not, apparently, as we had to dry off at the nearest Mac's for quite a while.

But man, that was quite the adventure. I also really want to draw this odd vehicle right now. I mean, steering wheels on a bicycle! How hilariously awesome is that.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: キャンバス ♬ +Plus
 
 
 
( 60 comments — Leave a comment )
printedapplesprintedapples on December 25th, 2011 12:17 pm (UTC)
don't underestimate yourself, dobs! Actually in sec 4 i was considering applying for humanz as well and ultimately decided against it. Sometimes i regret it though, but mostly i don't, because i don't think i'd be happy there.
b e l ♛: recreate / the presence beside meciette on December 25th, 2011 12:24 pm (UTC)
thanks my dear kome ♥ sometimes i think about this way too - i've met a few hp people and not many click with me. but idk, i think it's partly because of the school's biased treatment too. orz i just makes me feel... kinda inferior. D: but i'll try not to let these labels get to me! /beats inferior complex out of myself ;alkdfjklasdfklsdf
printedapplesprintedapples on December 25th, 2011 12:26 pm (UTC)
I guess its because they are deemed by the school and the government as the 'elite' but if you think about it terms of like, art schools, there's risd and there's saic and there's slade, they're all good but not every one is for you... sometimes one way just works better than another even though that other way is supposed to be 'better'
b e l ♛ciette on December 25th, 2011 12:32 pm (UTC)
ah that's a very interesting take, and it's starting to make sense to me! i think i've been too sheltered in my "elite schools" environment - rgps, mgs and then ri, that once i sense myself not being recognised as the top, i start panicking. orz in that sense, i think i'm a lot psychologically weaker than many other students. this is probably a good wake up call, now that you sounded it out to me. ' o '
(no subject) - printedapples on December 25th, 2011 12:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ciette on December 25th, 2011 01:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - printedapples on December 25th, 2011 01:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ciette on December 25th, 2011 02:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
tricia: by the door ☁ park shin hyeyoursubtext on December 25th, 2011 03:21 pm (UTC)
hi, bb♥

i'm glad to see another post from you hehe. and i'm proud of your progress at exercising/physical fitness! keep it up!

that furi fanbook is really interesting! i forgot what it was called, but i remember the first one. i was too shy to ask my mom for her credit card to buy it at that time lol. is it the same project? o:

EPIC BICYCLE. i can't figure out how you guys rode it, though...
b e l ♛: fanboy / excitement is an understatementciette on December 26th, 2011 04:42 am (UTC)
thank you bb! ♥ man i'm so inconsistent with posting XD it's so hard to get into the habit of journaling frequently.

oh yes, i remember that one! man, i really wanted to buy one too, but i was afraid to ask too. > < especially since it was probably of questionable content, cough. nah, it's from a smaller group, i think! most of the reputable people from fandom before have moved on, i think. D: i am personally under the impression that the present oofuri fandom is active, but really small. XD

hehe you just sit on the seat and peddle normally! except one person maneuvers it using the steering wheel! my first impression of it was that it resembled a golf cart. XD
shatterplainshatterplain on December 25th, 2011 07:29 pm (UTC)
BOSSSSS! HANG IN THERE! ^^

Be very careful about insecurity seeping into your essays though! ^^ You've got the passion and you've got to talent so go ahead and push it as far as it will go. For apps and otherwise. ^^ If you need help (or anything else for that matter) do let me know! <3
b e l ♛: lightheartedness / this can't be healthyciette on December 26th, 2011 04:44 am (UTC)
YAMAAAAA!♥ thank you my lovely, i'll fight on!! how have your essays been going?

o-okay! conviction is really important in applying, so i'll make sure to suppress my doubts at least in my words! \o/ like you said, just do and stop thinking, fufu~ thank you for the offer, i'll take you up on it! ^ ^ feel free to ask me to proofread your essays too, if you need be! i'd like to help you whenever possible!
can't wait to get all these uni stuff out of the way alsdfjasdf.
shatterplainshatterplain on December 26th, 2011 05:55 am (UTC)
I'm finishing up my common app essay! ^^ Or at least close to finishing... I hope it's good! hee!

^^ Plan your essay too! and know what sort of application you want to put across and what sort of person you want to be to them? Might help too! ^^ COME ONLINE MSN MORE OFTEN BOSS AND WE CAN TALK! (And you can read my essays too! XD if you want hee!)
2ND JAN IT WILL BE OVER HANG IN THEREEEE!
b e l ♛: recreate / the presence beside meciette on December 28th, 2011 02:15 am (UTC)
oh, you have a common app essay? o: what sort of requirement do they have?

oh yes, those are good points to note, especially about the intended impression. i suppose different schools have different types of people they are looking for! /notes down
HEHE somehow i'm always doing so many things at once i find hard to leave msn on and multitask. XD but okay! i'll try to come on more often to talk to you! ♥ okay sure, i don't mind! ^ ^
hehe my deadline is the start of february! i've been... doing essays this whole month and hardly touching my portfolio i realised. orz faito yama!! (`Д´)ノ
(no subject) - shatterplain on December 28th, 2011 02:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shatterplain on December 28th, 2011 02:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ciette on December 28th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shatterplain on December 28th, 2011 05:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ciette on December 28th, 2011 09:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shatterplain on December 28th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ciette on December 30th, 2011 10:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Stay with me: Eunhyuk: Like a Bosshaebin on December 25th, 2011 09:21 pm (UTC)
Awwwww, dun give up <3
Maybe it could be true to go to the states.
And maybe I am wrong but Singapore has a lot of good universitys, too, right?

And oh my god, the pics of the bycicle and the east coast! Can u believe that I was three times in Singapore and never visited the east coast? :>

I really have to do so ^^

And I hope you had a nice christmas, nevertheless what happened ♥
b e l ♛: smile / it's been a long nightciette on December 26th, 2011 04:47 am (UTC)
i really hope so too! singapore has plenty of good unis, but when it comes to visual arts, we're a little undeveloped here. D: our art schools here aren't very well known.

oh man, you definitely have to! try out the weird bicycle car thingies if you come too! there're lots of bicycle rental shops everywhere here. ^ ^ i suggest you try some fresh seafood while you're at it too! apparently we're well known for it~ ♥ can't wait for you to come to singapore, anke!! (。✧‿✧。)

thank you! i hope your christmas has been going well too! i really want to say that your christmas graphics are amazing, by the way~ so pretty♥!
Stay with me: Sulli: Hothaebin on December 26th, 2011 12:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, I remember on one art-school, but I have no idea what the name was ^^

I know XD
But sadly I don't eat any seafood. But I love the curry chicken :D XDDD

Yes, my christmas was nice and peaceful. And thank you so much for the compliment :D
*huggles* <333
b e l ♛: fanboy / excitement is an understatementciette on December 28th, 2011 02:17 am (UTC)
ohhh, could it be the school of the arts? or nanyang school of the arts? we have few art schools here, and i think those are the more well known ones. ^ ^

ohh, personally i'm not really a seafood sort of person too. you know? especially those big prawns? those scare me...
yes, curry chicken is wonderful! hehehe. * q * man singapore's food is good, but i constantly feel like they're really unhealthy. XD

no problem, bb! i think you have a huge talent for graphic design, it's a fact! o/
(no subject) - haebin on December 30th, 2011 06:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ciette on December 30th, 2011 10:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
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catch the rainbow: [jojo] miles to go before i sleepdijeh on December 26th, 2011 11:26 am (UTC)
Merry Christmas again! Your Christmases used to sound so magical. I remember a time when I used to get excited too, although it kind of stopped when I was about 6 or 7...Now it's just another normal day, only with a few more decorations. Oh well, at least it's a holiday. Maybe we can make future Christmases happier! C:

And whoa, dude, didn't know you wanted to apply to a foreign uni! That's actually really cool! I don't know about Singapore, but my country's unis don't offer that many opportunities for the future, so studying abroad is a really useful thing to do. Maybe you can get a scholarship or something so you wouldn't have to worry about the taxes? Is that possible?

Roleplaying... I remember wanting to do this so badly a couple of years ago, but I always have this feeling in the back of my head that my interpretation of the characters might be different from other people's interpretations and then I'd make a fool out of myself and yeah. And then I lost interest and realised it's kind of...weird to me anyway? As a pastime, I mean. But getting (artistically) involved in fandom sounds cool! Lately, I've found myself wishing I hadn't given up drawing lessons all those years ago. Maybe I would have developed a style in the meantime. Maybe, yeah.
b e l ♛: frustrations / of the kawaii nekociette on December 28th, 2011 02:30 am (UTC)
man, becoming desensitised to christmas at such an age, you really are mature for your age (i.e. oyaji at heart), lex, hehe. but that's true, it's kinda depressing actually, not to be able to get hyped up over such little things anymore. yep, at least it's a day off! we need to start spazzing each other out when next christmas comes. C'MON AYUMU CHRISTMAS IS COMING I CAN'T WAIT I'M LOOPING JINGLE BELLS AS;LDFJKASDF and stuff like that, un un.

it really is, right? i'm quite aware of how foreign unis have a better reputation as well, and at the risk of sounding overly practical, that's what a lot of companies look at too. i'll be applying for as many scholarships as i can too, hopefully those somehow help me tide over! but i'm quite aware that most scholarships only offer a subsidy which is a percentage of the school fee excluding living costs, which i admit is rather demoralising. D:

I CAN RELATE TO THAT FEAR ENTIRELY, the same thing was running through my head the last time i roleplayed. it sounds like you have an interest in drawing! have you considered picking doodling up as a pasttime? o A o if you draw a little everyday, maybe you could start improving and creating your own style, it's certainly possible!
catch the rainbow: [jojo] miles to go before i sleepdijeh on December 28th, 2011 01:39 pm (UTC)
Well, I realised Santa doesn't exist when I was 5 or 6 and dad called one of his colleagues to play Santa for me, but he scared me shitless, hahaha. Doesn't help that mum wasn't around that night and I was a really shy kid. I don't think I ever believed in any of those kiddie tales anyway, like Santa, Easter Bunny (does anyone actually believe he's real I mean come on) or babies being brought by storks. I was such a mature young lad, ok! Oh man, that would be hilarious. HEY HIKARU LET ME PLAY LET IT SNOW FOR THE SIXTEENTH TIME IN A ROW I MEAN IT'S CHRISTMAS HEY AND BRING SOME PUNCH

I don't think sounding practical is a bad thing! That's what we're taught the moment we think about applying to unis over here, to be honest. It's a combination of do the things you like but make sure that'll actually bring some food on the table. Our scholarships suck. They're either too expensive or the teachers already have favourite students. I could have gotten an Erasmus scholarship in France, for example, but didn't have enough money to pay for rent. And food. And books. And transport. And a lot of other stuff. I wish you best of luck though!

Your suggestion sounds great! I'm not really sure how I'd be able to do it though, since the only things I've managed to successfully doodle when I'm bored are Decarabias. I have good visual memory, but everything goes to hell the moment I try to put it on paper. Oh well, ganbarimasu and all that.
(no subject) - ciette on December 30th, 2011 10:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
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jemmy: Cheondoong: I see youst_jemmy on December 27th, 2011 08:17 am (UTC)
i hope your holiday season will despite the family climate be restful and enjoyable.
what do you intend on studying? i guess with the economy as bad as it is there aren't exactly many good options left :/ i hope however that you will find a solution sufficiently satisfactory to dissuade you from these thoughts :c bc you are a beautiful and talented person, never forget that!!! ok? ;~;
i love you ♥
b e l ♛: heartbeats / one at a timeciette on December 28th, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
thank you my lovely! things have certainly been a little less intense, and i'm really grateful for what! \o/
i'm thinking of going into illustration! because of my interest in drawing and storytelling, though i'm also partial to game character design. (。✧‿✧。) aaaa jemmy, thank you so much for your kind words, they always keep me going. TT A TT i'll always remember your words!
ilu too ; A ; so glad you're back on lj bb!! ♥
jemmyst_jemmy on January 15th, 2012 06:15 pm (UTC)
illustration sounds like a fantastic wonderful dream job *-* and game character design as well!! i hope you really get to go to a great school and end up with a good job where you can be creative to your hearts content! ;~~~;
awwww i love you, bb! *squishes* one of my ny resolutions is to visit lj more often, let's see if i can stick to it ;A;
b e l ♛ciette on January 17th, 2012 04:19 am (UTC)
thank you!! ; A ; i'm so excited about them, but it does seem like a floaty, dreamy sort of affair which i'm afraid will never manifest. ;_; especially in our practical world! nonetheless! if it happens ;alkjd (HUGS)
i hope you do too! allow me to drag you by the ear back here whenever you forget♥ hehe. (though tbh, i've been making very occasional posts myself 8'> ehehe)
(no subject) - st_jemmy on January 19th, 2012 09:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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numbuh_009numbuh_009 on January 1st, 2012 05:04 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear your Christmas spirit has died over the years, but that's understandable (my Christmas spirit pretty much is just singing Santa U Are The One on repeat until people beg me to stop XD).

I'm proud that you're sticking to your exercise routine \o/ You're going to build up some crazy stamina if you keep that up! Give me some of your motivation please~

Selfishly, I do wish that you would go to the one near me. Student debt is definitely a huge problem over here (one of my friends pretty much is already $30,000 in debt and it's only our first year), but with your talent, I have no doubt that you can secure some pretty hefty scholarships (private schools do give out more scholarships than public schools). Anywho, do your best no matter what!

Haha, those bicycles look fun! I'm glad that you're having lots of down time with friends XD
b e l ♛: lightheartedness / this can't be healthyciette on January 1st, 2012 03:04 pm (UTC)
HEHE, although this sounds rather sad, SuJu was one of the few things that made me really feel the festives last year (a;lsdjf it's already 2012 al;kdfjasd)! Not to mention the only Christmas song which I looped kekeke. Did you download the rest of the album? I found TRAX's Like A Dream wonderful too! (though it hardly counts as a Christmas song XD)

I hope so too! COME, HAVE SOME OF IT!! though hardly motivation, i think i'm just barely managing to push myself to do it everyday, hehe. hopefully it won't falter a thread more. XD

aw man, you're adorable, y'know that, cinnamon. ; A ; i really really hope so too, let's keep our fingers crossed! i'll be applying to scholarships like crazy when my grades are out in feb/march and they hopefully are decent enough! gosh $30,000 ; A ; what course is your friend studying? i hope it's a course that has high chances of securing a job so she can pay it off quickly!

hehe i'm glad too! man, i've been totally socially stupid for the entire of 2011 because of my stupid exams. >": school does that to you, doesn't it?
numbuh_009numbuh_009 on January 7th, 2012 02:04 am (UTC)
I know what you mean ;A; (if the rumors of the apocalypse coming this year are to be believed, this will be the year to end all years!) LOL, I totally did that too until my family got sick of that song. Yup, but SuJu's was really the only song I loved as well as TRAX's. But I'm a bit sad that TRAX didn't get a new song because Like A Dream is actually the 2nd song on their previous mini-album. Darn you and your favoritism SM!

*fingers are crossed* Much luck to you! My friend is studying computer science so securing a decent paying job shouldn't be so much of a problem XD

School: a government invented prison to suck the life out of young people so we are brainwashed into working for them (can you tell I put too much thought into this kind of thing? OTL)
b e l ♛ciette on January 8th, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
oh damn, you're right. BYE BYE CINDY ;___; but darn, a apocalypse is a boring way to die D: since everyone dies the same way.
wait, seriously? that's so cheap ;__; no wonder it didn't really sound anything close to an xmas song! i kinda like f(x)'s 1,2,3 too! but for the album as a whole... so much engrish, i lol'd so hard (besides henry and amber XD).

oh that's true! practical courses are a smart move o:

LMAO CINDY oh why are you so cute. XD i'm so inclined to agree with you though. 8( it might be meaningful but... we have no lives for... the most part of our lives. D"8
(no subject) - numbuh_009 on January 11th, 2012 12:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
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